Forgiveness: A Bold choice for a Peaceful Heart by Robin Casarjian (1992)

In this book, Casarjian (1992) stresses that forgiveness frees us from fear, which is an underlying feeling behind resentment. Furthermore, it focused on a broad range of topics, from why to choose forgiveness, forgiveness for your family, forgiveness for yourself, and lastly, forgiveness for the world. Also, Casarjian (1992) said that forgiveness ... equals peace. Forgiveness, regardless of the situation or problem, gives the peace that we really want and yearn.

According to Casarjian, forgiveness is the means of the heart to mend itself and make it whole again. It gives us the freedom to love, sincere love. When we experience forgiveness, or we accepted forgiveness from others, we are transformed, giving us a fresh start. Furthermore, it tells about how our physical health may improve if we practice forgiveness.

It goes beyond understanding others, to how they cope up with the situation. Forgiveness must not be dependent on somebody else’s readiness or willingness to forgive. It explains that each person has his or her own way of letting go of their pain and anger. Let them be. Respecting them is another aspect of forgiveness. Not letting your self-forgiveness be dependent on the other person’s feelings or emotions.

The Handbook for forgiveness by Everett L. Worthington Jr. (2005)

In this book, Worthington (2005) describes that forgiveness isn’t just a science, it is also an art. This discussion can be found in chapter 1 of the book. In this discussion, I will be focusing on the questions answered by Worthington in chapter 1.

One question is: “How does forgiveness affect the participants in the forgiveness process?”. According to Worthington, forgiveness involves a wrongdoer, a victim, and sometimes a third party, for instance, a small range of the society. For the wrongdoer, some might actually be able to forgive themselves easily, some may not. But, one thing is for sure, for a transgressor that is forgiven, response is a must – both intraphysically and interpersonally. This implies that the experiences of the perpetrator are interlocked with the experiences of the victim. For the victim on the other hand, forgiveness is dependent on the personality and experiences of the victim. Some people might forgive easily, some may not. This accounts to a number of personal characteristics. Also, forgiveness can also involve people around you: relatives, neighbours, etc. This is why crimes affect society. In most tribes, wrongdoings can disrupt the harmony of it. That is why forgiveness is a crucial subject. Worthington summarized that forgiveness is a complex summary of intrapersonal process, interpersonal process, and interpersonal process within societal and political context.

Another interesting concept presented in the text is the benefits of forgiveness. Like what Casarjian (2005) mentioned in his book, forgiveness has a lot of benefits: physical, mental, relational, and spiritual health. The explanation is a trivial one. According to Ludwig et al. (2001), Unforgiveness is stressful and makes people drown in their negative thoughts. This results in different negative consequences, be it physically, mentally, relationships, or spiritual health. Also, a survey in 2001 associates fewer poor health conditions in elderly people with forgiveness. Moreover, forgiveness lessens the anger, pain, and other negative feelings that a person experiences.

Another interesting concept discussed in the book was correlation of primate conflicts with human forgiveness. This was a study about the reconciliation behaviour of Chimpanzees and Macaques. The observed responses to conflict was kissing and the so-called ‘hold-bottom ritual’. Kissing in Chimpanzees was a sign of reconciliation between two former opponents. The conclusion of this study was that it was unable to prove that the former opponents have forgiven each other; the positive side was that the behavioural correlate levels of anxiety reduced or lowered after the reconciliation between the former opponents.